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*~Journal of a Bullet-Proof Soul

Monday, July 19, 2004


Yeah, I won't be able to renovate my new LJ till September, so please excuse it if it's a bit empty.

(gaze across the ocean)

Sunday, July 18, 2004

1:06PM - welll...goodbye

I'm in NC right now. It's criminally boring, nothing but little Isaiahs and little bitty old ladies.

I would honestly pay someone to get rid of all my old entries, because I really don't feel like doing it myself. Too many memories...so instead I'm going to change my LJ username, for a fresh start. Yay.

Whoever's on my friends list, add me, my new username is

(2 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)

Monday, June 21, 2004


Seniors suck...eggs. You didn't even have a senior prank!

Oh, well. Have fun living your lives while the rest of us live out our miserable existences in the dregs of AHS. Asses.

(7 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)

Friday, June 18, 2004


My sphere is Guardian (Person of great Love and Altruism), and my class is Arms Master (Pragmatic and Stout).

I am a Guard.

You are a true, versatile guard. You have a defensive nature, that is, you are good at instilling a sense of security in the places around you. A strong presence weakens any possible threats around you, and a swift, practical approach to the problems that crop up puts them down before they can get out of hand.

What kind of Warrior are you?

(gaze across the ocean)

Thursday, June 17, 2004

3:48PM - MEMEs Galore

A very "special" dictionary. by lily22
Look up:
Definition:One who never sleeps.
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Your secret Addiction
by khaiptah
Name ?
Your Secret Addiction is ...Guitar Picks
When you Discovered thisJune 24, 2038
Where were you when you found out?making out at the movies
How much it will cost you by the time you die ..$397.35
Treatment OptionsForced Participation
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Angel Style by greymentality
First Impression from OthersOthers see you as mundane, until "enlightenment"
Your CoreIs warm and beaming with soft light
Potential to Stray from the Light: 96%
Your WeaknessYou love animals. Especially puppies and kitties.
Your StrengthYou work undercover. Like NYPD Blue, but not.
Your WingsGreat raptor wings, like a falcon or eagle
Your FocusHumanity's rhelms
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Current mood: sheer boredom

(gaze across the ocean)

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

3:01PM - don't read this

Don't read this unless you want to be bored out of your mind, but I'm in a particularly Bateman mood today. I would put it under a lj-cut, but I'm rather bitchy and I want you to scroll down.


An insanely expensive restaurant on the Upper East Side.
The decor is a mixture of chi-chi and rustic, with swagged
silk curtains, handwritten menus and pale pink tablecloths
decorated with arrangements of moss, twigs and hideous
exotic flowers. The clientele is young, wealthy and
confident, dressed in the height of late-eighties style:
pouffy Lacroix dresses, slinky Alaïa, Armani power suits.

Huge white porcelain plates descend on very pale pink linen
table cloths. Each of the entrees is a rectangle about four
inches square and look exactly alike.

You'll notice that my friends and I all look and behave in
a remarkably similar fashion, but there are subtle differences
between us. McDermott is the biggest asshole. Van
Patten is the yes man. Price is the most wired. I'm the
best looking. We all have light tans. Right now I'm in a
bad mood because this is not a good table, and Van Patten
keeps asking dumb, obvious questions about how to dress .
(Staring at retreating waiter)
Did he just take our plates away?

He took them away because the portions are so small he
probably thought we were finished. God, I hate this place.
This is a chicks' restaurant. Why aren't we at Dorsia?

Because Bateman won't give the maitre d' head.

He guffaws)

Bateman throws a swizzle stick at him.

They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in.

Are you sure that's Paul Owen over there?

Yes. McDufus, I am.

He's handling the Fisher account.

Lucky bastard.

Bateman is pouring vintage champagne into flutes. Price is
lighting up a cigar.

Last week I picked up this Vassar chick-

Oh God, I was there. I don't need to hear this
story again.

But I never told you what happened afterwards. So
okay, I pick up this Vassar chick at Tunnel-hot number, big
tits, great legs, this chick was a little hardbody-and so I
buy her a couple of champagne kirs and she's in the city on
spring break and she's practically blowing me in the
Chandelier Room and so I take her back to my place-

Whoa, wait. May I ask where Pamela is during all

Oh fuck you. I want a blowjob, Bate-man. I want a chick
who's gonna let me-

(Putting his hands over his ears)
I don't want to hear this. He's going to say something

You prude. Listen, we're not gonna invest in a co-op
together or jet down to Saint Bart's. I just want some
chick whose face I can sit on for thirty, forty minutes.

Price throws a cigar at McDermott, who catches it.

Anyway, so we're back at my place and listen to
this. She's had enough champagne by now to get a fucking
rhino tipsy, and get this-

She let you fuck her without a condom?

This is a Vassar girl. She's not from Queens. She
would only-are you ready?
(Dramatic pause)
She would only give me a handjob, and get this...she kept
her glove on.

The men sit in shocked, horrified silence.

ALL IN UNISON Never date a Vassar girl.

I'm shaking. You open it.

Bateman opens a tiny packet of coke.

Jeez. That's not a helluva lot, is it?

Maybe it's just the light.

Is he fucking selling it by the milligram? (He dips
the corner of his Amex card in the packet and takes a snort)
Oh my God...


It's a fucking milligram of Sweet'n Low!

Bateman dips his Amex in the envelope and snorts.

It's definitely weak but I have a feeling if we do
enough of it we'll be okay.

I want to get high off this; Bateman, not sprinkle it
on my fucking All-Bran.

The GUY IN STALL next door yells at them in an effeminate

Could you keep it down, I'm trying to do drugs!

Price pounds his fist against the stall.


Calm down. Let's do it anyway

I guess you're right...
(Raising his voice)

Fuck you!

(Trying to climb up against the aluminum divider)
(He collapses, panting against the stall door)
Sorry, dude. Steroids...Okay, let's do it.

That's the spirit.

They both dig their platinum Amex cards into the envelope
of white powder, shoveling it up their noses, then sticking
their fingers in to catch the residue and rubbing it into
their gums.

Current mood: amused

(1 lost soul | gaze across the ocean)

11:56AM - public service announcement

I was playing badminton with Justin when we decided to get a drink.

We were all joking and laughing. We went in the lobby...
Where the Advanced Theatre list...

With my name in it...

Was neatly typed.

When I went up to it, I saw that someone had used a sewing needle, or a nail, or something, and ripped my name in half.

I laughed. It was my time to laugh at the jealousy, it was uproarious to think that someone would try to bring me down when I know for certain that they cannot.

Someone (and I have a very shrewd idea of who) decided to be immature. Oh...
What do you think I'm going to do...

They've just lowered themselves even further (if that's even possible) when it comes to morals, being sore losers, and being immature.

I know there was a chance I could make it...
And the fact that I could, those two years I waited for my chance that I GOT...that puts me on the ultimate high.
Oh, I have a few more adjectives to add by the way.
rather pathetic

Oh, yeah, and here's one I reserve for especially useless people:


Current mood: accomplished

(10 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)

9:29AM - part of Addicted (I love this song)

I tried to make you happy but you left anyway

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
BUt I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again

I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to keep you
But you left anyway

How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine

I'm addicted to you

Guess who got into Advanced Theatre Arts?
made the cut...hells yeah go me. =P

Current mood: lyrical

(2 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)

Friday, June 11, 2004

8:54AM - Chuck Shephard's News of the Weird

In January, University of Utah hospital surgeons removed half the skull of Briana Lane, age 22 and unemployed, in order to save her life after an auto accident, but because putting the skull back in place was not quite an emergency, it was delayed by negotiations over cost. The skull remained in a freezer for three months, with Lane battling serious pain (and wearing a plastic helmet for protection, feeling her brain "shifting" on her) while the hospital negotiated with the state Medicaid office, which pays only for long-term "disabilities." Her skull was finally reattached on April 30. [Salt Lake Tribune-AP, 5-11-04]

Adventures With Lubricants

In January, a National Park Service ranger arrested Marvin Buchanon for drug possession along the Blue Ridge Parkway in North Carolina. Buchanon had been discovered sitting in a truck one evening, naked, covered with baby oil and with women's underwear at his feet. And in a widely reported incident in May, Roger Chamberlain, 44, was arrested in Binghamton, N.Y., after having allegedly smeared 14 containers' worth of petroleum jelly on nearly every inch of the walls and furniture of a Motel 6 room (and who was found shortly afterward at another motel, himself covered with the substance). [The Morning Report (National Park Service), 2-3-04] [Newsday-AP, 5-17-04]

Least Competent Criminals
A 21-year-old man and his teenage accomplice were arrested in Austin, Minn., in April, after allegedly burglarizing the Tendermade Restaurant; officers called to the scene noticed that the cash register tape had come unspooled outside, and they followed the 100-foot-long roll into some bushes, where the two were hiding. And in Honolulu, in April, Gavin Bolosan, 26, was arrested and charged with stealing a woman's purse and using her credit card at a Longs drugstore (but he was caught after he filled out the Longs credit card ID form with his own name and address). [Star Tribune (Minneapolis)-AP, 4-28-04] [Honolulu Star Bulletin, 4-21-04]

(2 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)


Alyssa left for VA this morning. I'd better get used to the fact that she's going to be gone...no sister to ask advice, no sister to hug, no sister to...it makes me unhappy.
But truth be told, I think Alyssa will be the only senior I'll miss.

The lyrics on my user bio I got in a new way.
My mother told me a story of when I was four and walking away from the house, and she called to me, "Reina, Reina", but it was like I didn't even hear her, and just kept walking farther away...like a lost little girl.

So I thought about lost little girl in every sense of the word.

And I went to alloflyrics.com/en and entered "Lost Little Girl" in the search engine. And this is the song I got.
I don't know how it goes, but I like the lyrics.

In other news, I haven't eaten since the day before yesterday. It's really odd, but every time I think about eating, I get this aversion to food.
I like food. =)

Oh yes, and one more thing...


Ahem, thank you.

Current mood: blank

(7 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)

Thursday, June 10, 2004

8:29AM - Like a Tattoo

He told me sweet lies of sweet loves
Heavy with the burden of the truth
And he spoke of his dreams
Broken by the burden
Broken by the burden of his youth

I remember his hands
And the way the mountains looked
The light shot diamonds on his eyes
Hungry for life
And thirsty for the distant river

Like the scar of age
Written all over my face
War is still raging inside of me
I can still feel the chill
As I reveal my shame to you
I wear it like a tattoo
I wear it like a tattoo
I wear it like a tattoo

Current mood: contemplative

(gaze across the ocean)

Wednesday, June 9, 2004


Things seem strained lately. Probably not going to update for a while. For some reason, I wish I had a desert eagle...like this:

title or description

And guns aren't even my forte! What's wrong with me?
Why do I want to take this gun and...

...use it to utterly destroy all the people who have caused me pain?

Why can't I just forget about the misery and the blatant bastards who have pushed me to the limit and manipulated my feelings to the point where I am on the edge of utter madness?

I'm bleeding mirth
It's coming out
I cannot staunch the flow

And since my birth
Has come about
I've never felt so low.

Happiness mixed
Into my tears
Rolls much over my eyes

Nothing is fixed
But calm your fears
And stop your blatant lies

And since my birth
Has come about
I've never felt so low

I'm bleeding mirth
It's coming out
I cannot staunch the flow.

OK, I'll admit it...bit of a crappy poem but, spur of the moment thing written down when I was (slightly) loaded at 2 in the morning but still. This is how I feel. And if I can't forget, then I won't. And if I won't forget, then I'll get my revenge. I will.

This is for all of the ones who ripped me, tore me down and never gave me another thought...you'll get yours.

This is my justice.

Current mood: vengeful

(2 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)

Friday, June 4, 2004

7:21AM - Sade pics

Sade picsCollapse )

Current mood: blah

(gaze across the ocean)


Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK]
You are Trendy...
You're a trendsetter.. well more of a trend follower. You have a few 'cool' friends who don't mind you hanging around for a laugh. It won't be long before you're climbing the ladder to cool status. Keep up the good work!!
Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

I am so cool...anyways...

Your Years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Family Line
Dated Draco Malfoy
You are well known for Excelling in Quidditch
Percentage of student body you shagged - 15%
How do the staff and students feel about you Ahhh!! I want to have your babies!!
This quiz by lady_ameily - Taken 74711 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology

What Hogwarts House are You?
House Ravencraw
Chances of Losing Housepoints - 65%
Chances of Gaining Housepoints - 92%
Chances of True Love - 48%
This cool quiz by AlyssachanPC - Taken 621 Times.
New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

I admit it, I took this quiz over and over until I got Ravenclaw.

Your Harry Potter Character Description
HP Obsession Level
Year at Hogwarts Seven
Corporeal Patronus form Stag
Special magical abilities Parselmouth (Evil! Evil!!)
Preferred field of study Arithmancy
Character you'd most likely end up dating Colin Creevey
Popularity at Hogwarts - 94%
This Quiz by nicki - Taken 2550 Times.
New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

Hmmm...Colin, eh??

I need to get a proper pic of Sade on my LJ...and find out who her daughter is as well...

Current mood: bitchy

(gaze across the ocean)

Thursday, June 3, 2004

7:22AM - nooo

But that would be such a mean thing to do...I must use my powers for good, not evil...I must...resist...gah!

Current mood: evil

(gaze across the ocean)

Wednesday, June 2, 2004


Grrr...I'm all upset and whatnot...but not jealous...no, not jealous...not envious of andie's uber LJ, noo...grrrr again.

Besides, I am beautiful but deadly. So there.

Current mood: envious

(2 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)


That's a good question...I wonder if anyone calls her a slut for sleeping with her coworker, the same coworker who has a girlfriend, no less. Her loser friends talk about how I have no class...tell me people, IS THAT CLASS?? Comments, input, input.

Current mood: amused

(7 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)

7:10AM - hmm

Bloody hell...every time I try to use a background from artdungeon.net on my LJ, the next day it always disappears...figures that great work cannot be used.

This morning while I was in bed, pretending that I was about to get up, a little voice whispered in my head, "Raina-San, you don't have to get up, sweet little grasshopper, you can sleep allll dayyyy..."
And I said, "Wish I could, but...*whimper* I have to go to school..."

My life's motto is No Regrets, No Exceptions. But damn...I regret getting up this morning.

Celeste, beautiful host of Pool Party of the Year #1, called all of her invites last night to remind them of her shindig. Meanwhile, no word yet from Kevin, host of Pool Party #2, which will be, knowing guys, in his basement wrestling. Geesh.

Current mood: meh

(3 lost souls | gaze across the ocean)

Tuesday, June 1, 2004

7:12AM - lalala

My weekend wasn't bad. There were a few mishaps, but nothing too horrendous or unmaneageable. I watched Columbo, ate tasteless coleslaw, discovered what love truly meant...you know, that old chestnut.

HUGE shindig on June 19th that I was invited to in January. About 50 old friends, a pool, and mushroom tea galore. 'Tis the long-awaited party.

PLUS...I'm getting the PoA DVD, with a little luck.
Today'll be good...I'll go home and watch Kill Bill, have a few hours to myself and a little aloney time, which I've been pining for for a while. Plans have changed on Sautrday and I can't go to the movies with a couple of the chikis like I previously intended...hmm. *disappointment*

Current mood: content

(gaze across the ocean)

Friday, May 28, 2004

12:07PM - *sigh* what fresh hell is this...

Oh my goodness....

Alyssa said that Kristen said that I said that she didn't want me to speak to Kristen anymore. Supposedly I wrote that on my LJ.

That's ABSOLUTELY TRUE...every time I used to get sad about Kristen-this and Kristen-that, Alyssa would say, "Just drop her then."
Alyssa really has nothing to do with anything though.

There, glad that matter's cleared up...

Current mood: confused

(1 lost soul | gaze across the ocean)

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